Menopause is a major life transition, there is no doubt about that.
By Teresa Ranieri, our Mindfulness teacher at New Life Portugal
For some women, it unfolds as a smooth process, but for others menopause can be a challenging experience, causing a bunch of symptoms like fatigue, stiff joints, hot flashes, brain fogginess and hormonal changes leading to irritability, anxiety, and higher levels of stress.
Although menopause is an individualised life event, it is also a shared human experience of change that we can choose to embrace as an opportunity for growth and empowerment rather than somewhat merely annoying and unpleasant.
Therefore, before exploring how mindfulness could support us women navigating the intensity of some peri and menopausal symptoms, the invitation is to first pause to observe the bigger picture of how we perceive this transition.
This sharing emerges from my personal discoveries as I am myself a woman in my late fifties. Mindfulness entered my life in my early twenties and it has surely transformed over time, the way I’ve met and processed my human experience and many life transitions, including menopause.
The short reflection I propose does not intend to deny the difficulties women face to adapt to physiological and psychological changes they can hardly understand, and which require indeed a lot of care and attention. This invitation is rather about cultivating an inclusive and balanced perspective of something we can’t avoid experiencing to learn to navigate the challenges with more ease and equanimity.
From Midlife Fear to Midlife Freedom
The human body needs a few years to transition from puberty into fertility, a process that, like menopause, induces several physical and emotional disbalances. In the same way, it also takes a few years and some physiological changes to end our capacity to procreate.
There is a spirit of celebration when a girl gets her first period but I wonder why we don’t celebrate the end of the fertility cycle in the same way. Why not celebrate a new chapter of life free from menstruation, cramps, premenstrual syndrome, and birth control which are also quite debilitating conditions? I wonder if we could explore the possibility of welcoming a time where we get our energy back as we have learned who we are, what we need, and most importantly, what we don’t need to be fulfilled. I wonder how much our clinging to an identity that is undeniably vanishing is limiting our growth and transformation.
Of course, I am aware that our societal conditions play a pivotal role in this regard. In a context where competition, productivity at any cost, and a false sense of eternal youth prevail, it can be quite devastating to be seen in our vulnerability and human imperfection. Not to mention the still-existing gender differences in a patriarchal culture when it comes to appearance, self-image, expectations, roles and identities. Each of these conditions is very complex and it is not my intention right now to deeply unpack these constructs rooted in centuries of societal evolution. However, the truth is that menopause is inevitably confronting us with this landscape and it’s normal to feel disempowered, confused, and to a certain extent even doubtful and fearful, not knowing where to find refuge and nourishment amid our crumbling existence.
So how do we navigate these stormy waters without contracting ourselves towards an inescapable decline? How to find a balance and stop following cultural pressures that cause us to be something we can no longer be, without deeply hurting ourselves? How do we reclaim our right to still live a meaningful life, regardless of external limiting conditions, while becoming free from what no longer serves us? After all, this could become the longest part of our existence as statistically women live another 40 years after menopause.
Personally, I dived into my mindfulness practices, as well as seeking professional support, to start a process of “conscious incubation” which is still unfolding. Menopause is a time between stories: the old story of myself fades and a new story is emerging as I discover who I truly am and always was meant to be. This has been so far, the most intense, challenging, not linear, and yet gratifying journey of my life. An authentic and intimate discovery process with no shortcuts, quick fixes, or magic pills. Doubtlessly, it is a journey colored by losses and grief, resistance and denial, fear and confusion, but it has been as well the birthplace of true renewal and rebirth. As long as we can meet our bodies, minds, and hearts with gentle curiosity and care, there is space for understanding and choices that can support our well-being.
To respect my changing body, adjustments have been required in terms of nutrition, and daily routines, as well as a reevaluation of my working conditions, relationships, and commitments. It has also called my attention to reset my priorities and inner values to help me gain more clarity about what is my real purpose and how I can offer my contribution to this world, without excluding myself from the equation of care.
Indeed, it takes courage to be truly connected with an experience that first feels uncomfortable. Attentive presence is unconditionally clear but at the same time openhearted and kind. They are as interdependent as the two wings of a bird, together they enable us to fly, to be slowly free from unhelpful patterns or beliefs, to then walk on this planet with more discernment and wisdom.
Like beautifully described by Naomi Shihab Nye in one of her poems:
What you held in your hand, what you counted and carefully saved, all this must go so you know how desolate the landscape can be between the regions of kindness.
Then, it is only kindness that makes sense anymore, only kindness that ties your shoes and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread, only kindness that raises its head from the crowd of the world to say:
It is I you have been looking for…and then goes with you everywhere like a shadow or a friend.
Can Mindfulness Ease Menopause Symptoms?
Over the past 40 years, Mindfulness-based interventions have helped thousands of people improve their mental and physical health and many studies report their efficacy. However, there are not many studies specifically researching the correlation between mindfulness practices and women’s health, including menopause. The existing research simply supports the evidence that cultivating present-moment awareness is an essential element in navigating stress, anxiety, and irritability with strategies that lead to greater health and well-being.
One particular trial of 110 women experiencing regular hot flashes and night sweats showed that while the intensity of the phenomenon was not decreasing, participants were less distressed by their discomfort. This makes a lot of sense as hot flashes are not triggered by an external stimulation, but only through the sinking of estrogen levels. As a gentle quality of attention, Mindfulness helped these women to embrace their discomfort with less resistance, consequently decreasing how annoyed they were by their momentary experience.
Some Useful Strategies
1. Regular breathing exercises and gentle movement practices
Our breath is a powerful source to regulate our mental and emotional state as we slowly move from thinking into sensing our body. By paying attention to the breath, we can switch from the sympathetic nervous system, which activates the stress response, to the parasympathetic nervous system, the calming response in our body, reducing our heart rate and blood pressure. It is also useful to engage with gentle movement practices like restorative Yoga or Qigong.
These practices, combined with deep and conscious breathing, help activate the body’s relaxation response to decrease stress and anxiety.
2. Practice self-compassion
Self-compassion is a tender quality of presence toward ourselves when we experience life challenges, failures, or a sense of inadequacy. We give ourselves support and encouragement rather than being self-critical or judgmental when difficulties arise. Research indicates that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of resilience, radically improving our mental and physical health.
It also motivates us to make necessary changes and fulfill our intentions as we can truly feel we deserve to be seen, valued, and respected. Each mindfulness practice is an opportunity to pause and hold ourselves in this space of care and understanding, and it is pivotal in this time of transition, to create a daily routine that includes, even for a few minutes, a sitting practice to wrap ourselves in a warm blanket of compassion.
3. Practice compassion for others
There is a large body of research stating that practicing compassion towards others has a significant impact on our mental health and our emotional state, both in terms of decreasing anxiety, anger, and loneliness while also increasing support and encouragement for ourselves.
Small but meaningful ways to express compassion include: speaking with kindness, apologising and being accountable when making mistakes, listening with curiosity when being in a conversation, encouraging other people, offering help, or sharing the happiness of someone else’s success.
4. Focus on nourishing connections
Our fundamental human need, after food and shelter, is to connect with other people genuinely. How often are we actually present for another person? When was the last time somebody was fully present to you?
The good news is that being connected to ourselves with compassion and care, allows us to feel more connected to others and choose people that are truly supportive and nourish our well-being.
How can New Life Portugal support me in this transition?
Mindfulness is ultimately about wisely choosing how we live our lives, moment by moment. As you face menopause, the invitation is to choose kindness and embrace the changes while still expressing your uniqueness, your human potential, and the gifts you have always intended to offer to this world.
Here at NLP our team of professionals provides a safe container where you can explore many of the tools and suggestions shared in this article, and far more beyond that. Our daily program and personalised guidance have been skillfully designed with the clear intention of supporting each guest to make conscious choices that can allow substantial long-term benefits. Therefore, please slow down for a while, join us in our wonderful facilities surrounded by the magical mountains of Serra da Estrela, and dare to dive into this endless process of self-discovery and transformation in the company of a like-minded and caring community.
Watch our video about the Menopause
